The questions of the mind

Whispering the sweet secrets

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Title: Beg
Author: Emma
Rating: M
Summary: Just something small about how being own can change a person. May continue it later. No Beta! Blah!

Cigarettes turn him on now. The smell of expensive cologne and soft silk make him hard, achy and pissed off. He wants to be bend over and devoured completely until he can't walk or move at least for a day. He wants a lot of things but he never asks, just sits there and complains each time he is fucked out of his mind again and again. Asami never suspects what he really wants, enjoying the chase and posturing of his little toy. He never imagines just how dirty Takaba needs it to be to get off.

Its Saturday night and Takaba is at Club Sion's office, bend over, hands fisted on the rim of the desk as Asami pounds into him, and he wishes for a fist or sometime that hurts just once, maybe nipple clamps. He grunts with each thrust, his cock brushing up against the desk, precum coating the head. His legs are bend slightly and he is complaining again. Why can't he come, he needs the rush, the soundless wave of pleasure, and he is sobbing, cursing Asami while inside he hopes for anything to make him hurt. Anything to make him feel something real for a moment, beyond the toy he has become.

Finally he comes, dropping to the floor in a heep, tears staining his face and legs trembling from the effort of standing bend. He feels the silk suit pant leg brush his back as Asami pulls his pants up, and then the harsh smell of the cigarette as he lights up and he can't help but hate with all his heart. Hate what he has become, how he needs sex now, how Asami can just stand there and he is a hard, willing, slut. Asami never know what he thinks but he know how to own the boy and for now, its enough.

It takes two weeks of continual fucking for Asami to notice that Takaba isn't happy with anything. He just goes through the motions of life, unseeing. Two weeks and Asami is concern for the the first time in his life. His pet was absent inside, always complaining but never smiling like he use too when they first met. He thinks its Fei's fault, that the spirit of the boy is broken, and he prepares for war. He never once thinks its him, that Asami caused this, and his pride is downfall.

Fei Long responds in kind and the two fight, slinging men and guns at each other, and still Takaba sits blankly, giving up his contacts in the underworld for the life of a pet. He moves in with Asami, sliding into routines made for him, unwise to the constant observation. Asami is given a diagnoses of depression and soon Takaba is on medicine each morning, a blue pill, small and inconsequential.

Two weeks later and he still doesn't respond to anything but a dick shoved in his ass. Then he cries, grinds, and pushes the envelope, bringing in fisting, finally, and blood play. Small scars criss cross his body, and when Takaba is alone he traces each one and remembers. The pain, pleasure and submission to something harder and smarter than himself. Its no life but its all he knows now.

"Asami, fuck me."

He grins at his pet, reaching for the boy when he sees his wrists. Criss crosses of scars form little xs across his inner wrists and palms. Gently he takes the hands in his own and explore each mark lightly.

He looks at his pet questionably and gets a shrug.

"Masturbation feels better..."

He needs help, but what can Asami do. He kills people who upset Takaba, not hold the man when he is hurt. He has no experience in this and resents that. Shaking his head he hugs the boy close and sighs. Picking up the phone he calls the doctor, and sets up Takaba's hospitalization before letting the blonde go.

Then he fucks Takaba slowly, tenderly in apology, before he ships him out of the man's life.

"How do you feel today?"

"Did you take all your medicine today?"

The questions never stopped and Takaba answers each one with as clearly as possible. A month in the hospital and he was feeling more like himself. Asami hadn't been by once but he was grateful. The doctors thought it was for the best as well; and slowly he began to perk up, his spirit given hope as he freed himself from the cycle of depression. The medicine helped and so did the therapy where he could talk about being forced into sex and the secret that he actually liked it. It was the shame of everything that had messed him up the doctors told him and they encouraged him to work on being okay with being gay. Not that Takaba was okay with it, he blames Asami for it, but slowly he is learning to smile and it is enough.

On his release, a limo is there for him along with a guard and flowers signed by Asami. It feels cold, and impersonal, but Takaba takes it with stride and leaves for home.

Sea Is beautiful; everyone says so and she holds it close to her, a sign of worth, as she smiles on her new beau's arm. Asami is everything she needs; strong, demanding, aggressive and sexy. Being meek by nature she is surprised when the man approached her at one of the dinners, even more surprised when he took her to bed. She has heard of the rumors of this man being gay, his lover in a psych ward, but after, she didn't care. She is happy, beautiful, and possibly on her way to wife hood. Life is everything she needed.

The apartment is exactly the same, cool, professional, designer; everything the hospital hadn't been. Takaba sets his stuff in the bedroom and sits on the couch, opening a book ready to relax from the ride and see his lover once more. He had a lot to get off his chest before they could move forward.

When the door opens and he sees her wrapped in Asami's arms, Takaba screams, shocked, enraged, and hurt. The couple look up and in a instant the woman is dropped as Asami rushes in, gathering Takaba close.

"They said you were better."

"Asami, what is that!" he points at Sea and glares encased in the man's arms.

"My new pet."

"And I am..."

"My favorite pet?"

"Pet?!" The two say together as Asami glances between the two. A nod and Sea smiles, laughing at what Asami has done.

"Asami~!" Takaba wails, still glaring at Sea, "I thought.."

He gets up, fighting off Asami's hold before walking up to the smiling Sea. "He's mine, bitch." he whispers before back handing the woman.

Now that he has self worth, he won't stand for it, to see this hussy move into his territory. Asami, naturally does nothing as Sea losses her smile and tears fall down her face.


"He was here first and he seems back to himself. Maybe I should let you go?"

It is casually stated and enough of a slap to make the girl leave, with her head held high. Takaba,also, has had enough, in just seconds of seeing his lover. He had been replaced and that was unforgivable.

So he leaves everything behind, and follows Sea out the door, ignoring Asami and his calls as he embarks on his own life, away from the mob boss and his own heart. He should have known Asami never gives up on what he owns.

Takaba moves in with his parents, who haven't seen him in five months, and goes back to work. He even forms a friendship with Sea, both united in their obsession of Asami and often finds himself on the phone discussing how awful Asami was, and he almost convinces himself that he is better off now. Looking for work takes him back to the underworld, and unlike the first visit no one will talk to him, seeing him unstable and owned by Asami. It frustrates him and with a fit, he sets his attention on to editorial photograph. Its a quiet life and nothing that he needs, but it works and he has to accept that.

Asami is in a rage. He lost his pets in a matter of moments and has no intention of losing Takaba. After all the money he spent and time training the boy he has an investment and he never passes up on increasing his investments. It never dawns on him that his heartburn is from missing the boy or that he can't sleep because a warm body isn't pulled next to him. Love should never enter into his world, but greater things have happen before.


"And then he says 'Come here and fuck me.'"

The two giggle over a cup of coffee, ignoring the looks they are receiving and go back to their discussion.

"Well all he did was fuck me, never asked just took. Drove me mad, literally."

"Oh Takaba, you deserve better."

"So do you."

"Do you ever think..."


A shake of her head and Sea closes her mouth.

"Sea. Tell me."

"What... what about us? we both deserve love and a relationship of sharing. We should go on a date."

Takaba is shocked and even more so when Sea leans in and brushes her lips against his. He expects lighting bolts and stars but all he gets in warmth and friendship.

"I'm sorry but."

"I didn't feel it either."

They both leave embarrassed, Takaba secure in his thoughts that he is gay because, hey the waiter had been cute and his lips appealing, nothing like Sea's painted lips and Takaba knows he likes dick. He calls Asami that night and sets up a meeting.


They meet in a warehouse by the docks, shadows hiding the body guards and Takaba's camera. Takaba is dressed in a suit for once, uncomfortable with the tie but a business meeting demands correct attire. Asami is impeccable looking as usual, and raises a eyebrow at Takaba.

"A suit? You know how to up the kink."

"Asami I want my life back."

"Being my pet?"

Takaba pauses as he considers the purred response and then shakes his head. "No, before that. I want the thrill of chasing the bad guys and if we are to survive, I want equality."

His answer is to be pushed against a wall, lips crushing his own as tongues sweep past closed lips to meet. Its a heated kiss, one full of promise and pain and Takaba's knees weaken at the possibles; his mind blank for the first time in a long time. Hips grind and hands delve into suit jackets, one silk the other polyester, before a voice clears his throat.

"Asami , your 9 pm."

And just like that the hands and mouth are gone and the laughter is echoing in the warehouse. Asami leaves a trembling Takaba behind as he casually say, "I own you." before he leave.

He never sees Takaba's smile or the flashing of a red light.

The newspapers run the story the next day.

Wealthy entrepreneur caught in the arms of a man in a dark warehouse. What is going on? The scandal of the week!

Pissed doesn't express how Asami feels when he wakes up that morning to the newspaper. His competitors were going to try to use this as a weakness and now he has to protect Takaba from them and Fei Long who has yet to accept his truce. He gets up, dresses in casual ware for once and calls for his car to be delivered to his apartment. Collecting his body guards he drives across Tokyo to Takaba's parents house at 9 am and bangs on the door.

Takaba's mother answers and sweetly tells him to wait as she gets her son. Twenty minutes later and a lot of swearing Takaba answers to be grabbed and pulled through the street in his boxers. Which he deserves for what he has done, and Asami admits a small satisfaction of the humiliation as neighbors look out their window at the screams of outrage.

They drive back to the apartment, Takaba strapped in the back between two Huge bodyguards and Asami at the wheel. Nothing is said to Takaba as he screams about freedom, until they reach the apartment then Asami and Takaba are alone and Asami can't hold back any longer.

He slaps the boy quiet, hitting him until Takaba's face is bruised and bleeding. He is beyond angry and scared for the boy.

"I can't protect you unless you shut up and listen."

Its growled, words harsh and raged filled. It gets Takaba's attention and he sits obediently on the couch.

"You just compromised my business, your own safety and made a fool of me in front of all the others. They will kill you and me for any weakness we show from now on. They will try to take my businesses, my home, and you in an effort to expose more of a weakness. You have fucked up your own world and mine in one picture. Now stay here and pray I can get us out of this."

It hits Takaba what he has done in revenge and an effort to get his life back. Nodding he meekly spoke up, embarrassed yet again.

"Do I need to move in here?" His face aches but he doesn't care because he is stupid and selfish and wants to live more than anything.

So Takaba moved back in, his freedom gone from his own hand, and he is grateful for Asami who helps as much as he can while working late hours and calling to make sure he is okay. He has never seen Asami so shaken and fears even more because of it.

Sea's body washes up on shore a few weeks later, an A carved in her beautiful face and Asami knows Takaba is next. Who ever did this would pay once he sent Takaba to a safe house. He arranges everything through a contact he can almost trust and with a kiss Takaba is mailed off to Kyoto, hair dyed black and eyes a dark brown. Any measure would help.

Asami in the mean time works long hours, kills men everyday, and crushes the opposition. His bodyguards need a vacation, and he is tired of washing the blood off his expensive suits but its satisfying work. He regrets the death of Sea, hasn't told Takaba about it yet, and it drives him harder than anything to protect his pet at all costs. A pet he is coming close to loving.

Takaba is bored in Kyoto, under the watchful eye of a man called Oriya, who teaches him sword techniques at night and hides him when "master Muraki" comes to visit. He is in a whore house, and politicians come and go at all nights and if he hadn't learned his lesson he would be in heaven taking pictures of all the illegal dealings. It makes him more aware of how he is dependent on Asami and how much he loves the man.


"Take him upstairs."

Takaba is ushered up, away from the windows and doors and he stumbles to keep up with the servants. He slides on his knees in a bow as he is lead to the visitation room, and knows Oriya would approve of his demeanor. Under lashes he looks and sees Asami and off comes the meek shell, as he flings himself in the man's arms, who catches him and holds him close.

"Miss me." It is amused, the voice and Takaba nods his agreement. He has missed the only man who knows and cares if he lives or dies.

"You can come home now. The danger is over."

Tears come and he just nods again, snuggling closer, his legs straddling the other man.

Asami just picks up his pet and without a look back he takes them home.

Home turns out to be a large penthouse, a new one, done in reds and blues with grey accents and it is masculine and comfortable. There is two rooms and Takaba is amazed when he sees room in the closet for his stuff. His photography equipment is already there and suitcases line the room.

"Your stuff arrived yesterday."

"And my work? Can I go back to that or is..." He gulps hating how he sounded, "To dangerous?'

"Editorial work is best. The underground isn't going to welcome you back anytime soon."

"But," Asami continues, "You can just not work and take pictures for fun. I make enough money for the both of us..."

"No I need to do something with my life. And what if you get tired of me?"

A glare answers that question followed up his hands on Takaba's hips and a mouth on the boy's neck. "Don't you already know?" he asks between licks. "I love you, idiot."

"Love me.. But..." He stops and flings his arms around the man. "You love me."

"M mm, of course, who would pay to send you to a mental ward if they didn't love you?"

"I love you too."

"I know." The self assured way he said it just made Takaba harder and he sighs in happiness. When had he become such a girl He wondered.

"Fuck me Asami." He begs and Asami smirks at the request. How could he pass up such a plea? And they did, all night long


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I really like your fic !!!
Hope you'll continue XD

I plan on it. Thanks !!!!

it is very sad good story tho

Waa~!!! I can't believe I didn't read this~!! It's sooo beautiful~

Thanks. I have a follow up in the works.

Nice sad fic and I really like it! But I wonder why did Asami need another lover if he loved Aki and even called her his pet?

cause asami got greedy. Evil little man that he is

Yeah, but I hope now he understands what treasure he has (I mean Aki):)

OMG.. I lovvee your style.. fast paced... so much going on.. but I didn't feel "Stuffed"... and love the idea, Aki traumatized, even hospitalized without Asami's presence besides him.. and he came back and found Sea? and afterwards befriend here...brilliant ! "And what if you get tired of me?" .... "I love you idiot." *clapping like mad* Yoshhh.. the confession !!
*bows* thanks for sharing this neee ^_^

Love the story and the theme. Angst, tragic (Sea), touch of real life, and still a VF type of happy ending.

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